Until We Get There

Freshman year is over. And summer has begun (almost). I have no idea of what will unfold over the next few months, and so I’m kind of scared. All kinds of structures enforcing my life into some sort of schedule are gone, at least for now. I came in freshman year not knowing what to expect and I don’t think I could have ever prepared myself for what came this past year.

A few weeks ago, if you asked me if I were happy to be coming home, I would have told you that there was nothing I wanted more than to be back home. I was sick and tired of my continuously busy life and being surrounded by such ambitious, successful individuals. I felt trapped and life felt like a horrible constant – always walking to the same places, always having obligations. And yet, as busy as I was the past week, I realized that I appreciated and loved spending my time with the people I had gotten to know and love. And it occurred to me that I was looking at the down sides of life rather than enjoying and appreciating what’s going on around me. I wasn’t happy, but that was because I wasn’t allowing myself to be. I know how to distract myself, and that’s different from being truly happy. So, I’m making a commitment to myself that this summer, and hopefully onwards, I’ll be happy in whatever situation I’m in, whoever I’m with, and wherever I happen to be. I also understand that this is easier said than done, but whatever happens, I can at least be thankful for everything.

So to end this, here are ten things I am thankful for in no particular order:

  1. All of the new friends I’ve made and conversations I’ve had at Brown.
  2. RUF, aka my new family
  3. The granola & Blue Room cookies & brownies
  4. Hotel Andrews with sinks
  5. My roommate and her patience
  6. Brown’s flexibility and support with almost everything
  7. Even though I hated going, the Nelson gym
  8. Meetings, though sometimes inconvenient
  9. The hugs & laughter shared
  10. My classes, especially American Studies this semester.

So even though both semesters were tough and unexpected, I’m so appreciative of everyone who I’ve met and thankful of everyone who has made my experience so memorable. I’m clueless of what will happen in the next few months, but until we get there, I promise to be happier in remembrance of all that has happened and thankful for what will come.

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