There are obviously several ways of living life. One of which is just being free and letting things happen to you. Another of which is planning every detail and consequence. I definitely used to be the person who lived life to such a mapped out extent. Over the last two years though, I would say that I’ve changed immeasurably, living life to a certain kind of spontaneity. Doing things from the spur of the moment, even if it could potentially affect the entire course of my life that I had previously planned out and sought after.

I always had my life planned out. I knew where I would be from one moment to another but these days I have no clue what will happen within the next few months. Truth is though, I don’t know myself very well and I’m always constantly morphing and changing along with my ever-changing circumstances and surroundings. My foundational beliefs are shaky too, except for knowing the God I believe in. Other than that, I think I’m constantly on some emotional roller coaster of a journey. But that’s kinda the fun of it all, not knowing who or where I’ll turn up. How I’ll feel about one thing one day and then on another day.

I have ideas of where I want to go and what I want to do; I’m just not sure if they will happen or if I’ll do something different. I’ve been thinking of myself as a lukewarm person lately, or that’s what I feel like. I’m into things like poetry, dance, and cool ideas. But I think I need to find something new to get into. What a gross thing a lukewarm person is. But I’d rather be lukewarm and somewhat distant than a diehard for something. Heck, I even like lukewarm tea. It never burns you, not destroying your palate for other things in life,  and it still quenches your thirst.

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