I realized I haven’t posted anything in for a few weeks… aside from that last song lyric post, which had no substance. I guess my schedule took hold of me and I’ve honestly just been too occupied both in thoughts and actions to sit down and write something. Lots of exciting things have happened since the last time I wrote, and I’m really genuinely happy. I know that sounds pretty light-hearted, but that’s just my life right now.
It’s difficult to be happy sometimes. Especially when you’re going through a lot. It’s easy to put yourself at a constant low and remain depressed and unhappy all the time. You start to form thoughts that only relate to your sadness and depression, emphasizing a small pain that need not take over your life. But you realize that attitude starts to take over, and life just gets suffocating. You don’t want to live. And you don’t feel like going through days in agony or sadness. This time sucks. You don’t know how to make it stop, regardless of how self-inflicted it is. It’s impossible to step back and see yourself, and your problems, in the overall spectrum of the universe. Because it’s hard to realize your problems are also really not that important either. It might suck for you, but everyone else can see right through it. That all you have to do is let go of that mindset. And then you’ll free yourself from your mind’s artful chains. If you keep your thoughts to yourself all the time, you might find yourself in a downward spiral of never-ending voices.
But one day it just ends. And once that’s over, you’ll find this lightness in your mind. Your neutral state won’t be a state of sadness. An underlying tone of happiness will appear. And it’s really an awesome time. You’re uncertain as to let other people affect that tone of happiness because it took everything to obtain. Letting go is so difficult, but once you do, it’s like your problems were nothing more than a feather on your heart. All you had to do is blow it away. Of course everyday has its challenges, but you’ll just have this lightness and excitement for life.
I’m not trying to undermine depression and its effects on people in anyway. But as humans, we do have a tendency to aggrandize our hardships. We want to seem worthwhile of time and pain. I have no words on how to loosen your chains because I’m not even certain how I jumped out of my own flames. But for anyone in that situation, I know how much it sucks to trap yourself in that narrative. I know. You probably know all of the above information because you know how silly and how easy it could be to get out of that. But I also know how hard it is to get out of that in any way, shape, or form. Try to see that you’re not really trapped in a glass cage. You’re not stuck in place like a carousel ride. So I really hope you do overcome. No matter what’s on the other side of that glass.