An interesting city.
You can see my personal city guide here.
An interesting city.
You can see my personal city guide here.
I still watch Dance Moms whenever I have a spare moment. I always have to pause it though to take a deep breath because of all the cat fights – but when the screen switches to the actual rehearsing and dancing, the quasi-anxiety attack I got (from the Moms) is worth it.
I stopped dancing six years ago now, but I remember stupid things like how to do a port de bras and a developpe. A few weeks ago, I decided to stop by a ballet studio to take a class, and it was exactly as how I remembered it. The effort of my brain in trying to remember the French terms, the effort of my muscles in recalling the order by which to move, the effort of my face in trying to remain peaceful and serene. “Light like a feather!” the instructor cried. I was just happy that my worldly mind was melting away as I swooped down (gracefully) with my back and my hand as if to catch some big lump of air.
When I dance, I waver along the lines of self-consciousness and body-consciousness. The first, is utterly distracting. I think not only about how strange I must look with my hair slicked back, but also about the math and science problems I could never get right. Body-consciousness, on the other hand, is always informed by the instructor who is always judging your posture, your face, your gracefulness. I think it’s almost impossible to constantly retain your balance once you’ve sucked in your stomach and derrière, held your neck taller, and fitted your ribcage onto the greater weight of your body. Most people fall over, but most instructors don’t care.
The two, the self- and body-, start to sway into the infinite melody of the never-ending room. A fight for control that never ends.
Spring/Summer 2018 RTW collections were definitely prét à porter. Sometimes, fashion has a sense of being elusive and exclusive, but I think this season was a lot about embracing mundaneness and timelessness.
Show notes: Alessandro Dell’Acqua made the collection a mix of carnal and sporty – reminiscent of the Spring ’97 show. Themed dresses with lingerie details.
Show notes: Alessandro Michele – strobe lights, misty, replica antiquities, “hypnotism”, carnivorous. Elton John vibes – glam rock stage clothes.
Show notes: Christopher Bailey – “there we are” – a retrospective show, embracing the centuries’ socio-economic troubles, from Brexit to nationalism and obscurity. More honest, less polished, cool, and streetwise.
Show notes: “Perfect house wife with a cleaning habit” – suburban eroticism (not vulgar though). Sexual and ingeniously silly undergarments.
Show notes: Virgil Abloh – Princess Diana, “the people’s princess”, literal not figurative, Diana with a modern chic twist and in everyday wear, Diana in all aspects; tulle.
Show notes: Maria Grazia Chiuri: feminist; no high heals – modern young woman: “low, block-heeled Mary Janes or black mesh knee-boots”. Elevated social awareness (in my opinion – incoherent trendy pieces).
Show notes: Karl Lagerfeld – “The molecules from the water, when you breathe them in, it’s very healthy for you!”; endorphin effect of outdoor scenes and high-end fashion; 60s and 80s Paris momentum.
It’s been a solid 6ish weeks or so, and I’ve never had so much to think about and digest in my life as I have in the last few weeks.
I think I’ve grown to understand the importance of family, friends, and individuality in life a lot more. All things I had never really given a second thought have been really impacting how I think about my future life after college. I only have one more year left – and I really intend to make the most out of the year, with all of the three things above.
I also need to give my future a bit more thinking around what I’ve learned this summer – which is good of course, but there have been things that I’m beginning to uncover about myself as I live in Boston.
I think at the end of the day though, I’m really happy and blessed to be where I’m at and with the new friends I’ve made. Despite the few lows, there have been a lot of highs, and I’m blessed to have found more than one community of people. I also really miss Europe (of course) – and hope to make it back sometime before I go again next June or so.
So here’s to then and here’s to now – looking ahead to the next 4 weeks of this life 🙂
as days grow longer and time goes faster, i start to realize how fast adulthood has dawned upon me. i’ve always been the person to yearn for the next step in life – in elementary school eager to move onto high school, then to college, then to a career. and now at 21, i have mixed feelings about growing up. in one hand, i’m so incredibly excited for what’s to come – to have new beginnings again, the thrill of butterflies and adventures. but i’m also incredibly nostalgic of the past – of the people i’ve met and grown close to, of whom i’ll say goodbye to soon enough, of all the memories i’ve made with them and my own self.
as providence grows into summer, i am constantly reminded of my days here last summer. all the interesting, different days i had. it’s not necessarily sad but i partially miss it.
what i hope to achieve some day is to be content with the ever present. to not think so ahead and not be so over-prepared at times. sometimes i just wish i could appreciate the moment more.
9:13PM: Currently at YVR waiting for my 10:35PM flight back to school
I really wish I weren’t going back today. I just kept thinking, if I could change one moment in time and get what I want, I’d choose to stay home for a few more days. Not that anyone can really get what they want whenever they want though, but if I had a few wishes to spare, I wouldn’t regret using one today.
I feel like a child – I don’t want to go back and face everything that has yet to dawn upon me. I’m probably being way more dramatic than I need to be, but this semester’s been pretty difficult (full of administrative challenges at least – that is, things I cannot control and people I can’t get ahold of).
And as junior year comes to end, I wonder how many times and for how long I’ll be able to come back home. I feel somewhat trapped in the environments I’ve set up for myself, as if I don’t have the luxury to travel or something. I just wish I could feel a bit more stable and a bit more home with where I go to school or where my family is. But “home” seems like a faraway ideal that I’ll be searching for until I’m married with kids.
I really like what P. James said today about words though – he said that you say things because you mean them: no matter how hurtful they may be, they came from somewhere (i.e. your heart). Makes me think about the language I’ve been using lately and what I spit out.
For me, my language has been filled with a lot of anxiety and unsettledness (really a lot due to admin matters that have gone array) with daily affairs & people. A lot of discomfort in not being able to find paper trails and things of that sort.
I came home thinking this week would be restful, but it’s just been a piece of cake that I cannot have again for a while. Maybe it’s with growing up, but I wonder how unsettling it is to graduate and to find a new home. So many people find that process really exciting, but I’m having trouble imagining such a “fun” transition. I understand why so many people choose to go back home or stay near family & old friends, not that you can’t make new friends and meet new family elsewhere.
I’m at lost for words but I guess today I realized how tired my soul has become from all this homelessness I’ve been feeling.
But I think I just needed a bit of a kick to look towards the right direction. That no matter what I’ll feel this homelessness if I keep putting my foundation on something in the future or on something in my past. I really need to start delving into the bible every day again.